silhouettes and sharp lines..

Shadowplay.
It's in those dark, quiet moments.
Can't sleep. Tired of tossing and turning.
Some forgotten movie playing in the background.
Just white noise.
You know sleep isn't coming any time soon.
Get up. Make a cup of coffee.
Head outside.

Watching the fog swirl in the half light.
Faint light from homes across the way barely visible through the mist.
I love these moments.
Everything is softer, quieter.

Take a sip of my coffee.
Burns my tongue a little. The heat surprises me.
I like the bitter black of it.
Such strong taste and scent coming from a little cup.

I hear a soft, husky laugh from the half-finished house next door.
A young woman and her beau enjoying each other in the dark.
I laugh a little.
"Shh. Someone's going to hear us."

Don't worry. No one of importance.

I inhale deeply from my freshly lit cigarette.
Watch the red ember glow brighter.
It's my little glowing beacon in the black.
Need to quit. Bad habit.
I actually enjoy the little death that I suck in with every breath.
Enjoy it a little too much.
At least I'm honest about it.

There's something enticing and oddly romantic about this little slow suicide to me.
I love how out of vogue it is, especially when it seems that so many are so focused on their outsides these days,
but aren't paying as much attention to what lies within.
Maybe I'm completely wrong.

I think maybe I'm the opposite.
I focus too much on my heartbeat in the dark.

I still need to quit.
The realization of killing yourself a breath at a time doesn't make it any less true or justified.
I do like it though.

Cars passing by.
Lights flashing across darkened windows for a moment.
I love the sound of engines fading into the distance.
Can't see them any more, but can hear that soft purr.
The artificial illumination of car lights has left, to be replaced by this moist and grey gloom.
Part of the poetry of night.

I head back inside.
Thinking about a song I was working on earlier.
It was beautiful, but not quite right.
Was one of the frustrating ones.
By the end I wanted to tear it limb from limb, start over.
Was beautiful for a moment, but was so flawed at the end.
Reminds me of a lot of things.

My dog is looking up at me with those plaintive eyes.
She wants me to go back to bed.
I can't help but chuckle a bit.
Sometimes she will jump up on the couch with me, and put her little paw on my shoulder.
I don't know if she's trying to reassure me, or just wants a belly rub.
I think it's both.
Good companion. We've been through a lot together.
I'll make sure we're not separated again. Was too tough on her. She was patient, though.
And I came back for her.

Getting late.
Different movie playing in the background.
Still of no importance to me.
Keep thinking about that song.
Maybe tomorrow it will be ready to tell me it's secrets.
I'll be waiting to hear them.
Maybe it will tell me it's name.

More swirling thoughts in the dark.
More shadows dancing and laughing in the corners of my memory.
A lot of things imagined.
A lot of things left to imagine.
A lot of mistakes made.
A lot more left to make.

It's going to be a long night.