The setting is a dive bar near the beach. Beautiful view of the city across the water seen through the front windows. Someone's visiting from out of town, and a small group of us have gone out.
A couple of red motorcycles parked out front. Their sheen contrasts with the muted tones of the surrounding decay. Cracked sidewalks, peeling paint, old wood that has fought too long against the air of the sea. The building's still here, though. It must still think it's winning the war.
I have my Pepsi. The bartender's very gracious to me since I'm the designated driver.
I'm always the designated driver now. It's a welcome change.
~ Thinking back to another bar.
A whirlwind walks up to me. An embodiment of frivolity and subtle flirtatiousness.
I've met women like this before. I know what to do.
I crack a snide joke. Take another drink. I think it's whiskey tonight.
Then I see her eyes; feel lightning.
Her actions are a stark contradiction to the delicate beauty lying underneath.
I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like her before.
The whirlwind disappears back into the crowd..
I take another drink.
Sometimes I think that I think too much.
I've never been here before. Everyone's friendly and having a good time. Lots of laughter from the three of us.
I step outside for a few minutes. The view of downtown from here reminds me of fabled Atlantis. All magic and mystery.
Looking again at the bikes in front of this lovely dive bar.
It's like looking at glossy cherry-red nail polish painted onto the cracked nails of a corpse.
I love the contradiction. I can be a little morbid when I want to be.
~ I remember pleading in a parking lot at night. Please give something good a chance.
We are illuminated by a single light overhead.
I'm sure it's witnessed a scene like this many times before.
Don't do this to yourself. Not again.
~ The exchange ends with a hug. A good hug.
Her warmth is soothing and frightening to me.
She's shaking a little.
I pretend not to notice.
The embrace ends too soon.
I think I've convinced her that I'm not the devil.
I am not the others.
I am not him.
We're leaving the bar and heading home. I'll be back there again. I love the scent of the old wood inside. You can feel the history of a city in that place, and I'm sure there are a million fascinating stories the ghosts there could tell.
Hope to hear some of them someday.
~ Many Late night conversations. So much in common.
Lots of talks about the past.
Dinners at favorite restaurants and precious moments.
Talks about somedays.
Smiles & laughter. Time rushing by.
I could replay almost all of it.
Wanted to protect her from being hurt again.
Such a beautiful soul wrapped up in so much pain.
Shush. There's nothing for you to see here.
We're home now, still joking around.
There's a large group of us on the deck, chatting and looking at the sparkling city lights across the water.
Ships slowly moving through the harbor at night.
It's a good evening.
The scent of my coffee makes me smile and drift a bit.
~ The Holidays. Lots of laughter. I enjoy the company of these people I'm with very much. Such good hearts.
Mixed signals. There are always mixed signals.
Either that or I'm waiting to hear something that's never going to be said.
I'm confused a lot these days. It must be me.
Still a wonderful evening. No lack of smiles.
I feel shy tonight.
Probably drinking too much wine.
Trying to keep my footing and I stumble on words.
Still on the deck, playing guitar for my friends.
The music lightly sways us, gently floating away with the breeze.
It's now a quiet night. Closing my eyes and drifting on the notes I'm playing..
~ A going away present with a past.
Standing in a house that isn't a home, staring at the package that I placed on the table.
It's a lovely color.
I'm almost afraid to touch it.
Opening it slowly.
Too much trepidation on my part. It's just a gift. Doesn't mean anything, right?
It's so beautiful..
I cried a lot that night.
It's ok.
You can look now.
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