"I don't want to talk! Stop asking me to." She screams at him from the parking lot of the local 7-11 I like to frequent regularly for my recently developed slurpee cravings.
"We are too old for this! We have to REALLY talk sometime. I'm tired of it!" He's yelling right back, and his hackles are raised, but something in his movements betrays the fear and desperation he's feeling under his aggressive exterior.
She's walking away. No looking back. No response. Just walking. Curvaceous, very attractive, and using that to full effect in her walk. Determined and proud, but with an enticing and sexy sway to her hips that lets us all know what he's missing.
"You'll come back. You always do." He tries to make it sound so matter-of-fact, but you can see in his eyes that this a question. It's a desperate one, and it scares him. She doesn't see it. I don't even know if she's listening to him. She's still walking.
I've been in the store the whole time. Everyone around me is aware of this exchange, but are awkwardly going on with their shopping as if pretending that nothing's occurring at all. Understandable. It's really uncomfortable.
I'm trying not to watch, but I can't help but notice. I'm riveted, and I hear music.
I buy my sugary nectar of the gods (man, I love slurpees) and walk out. He's there kicking the tires of his car, a black Audi TT, which is parked right at the front. He looks up a little timidly. He looks beaten and tired. "I'm sorry everyone in the world heard that. We're not usually like this." This is a lie. I think that they're like this a lot. I tell him it's ok. We've all been there. I try to smile for him. Maybe for myself too.
The walls crumble for a second. He looks me straight in the eye. "I love her so much. I have for years, but I hate this. I need her to come home, but I hate when she does. At least the make up sex is amazing until she leaves again. ..I've gotta go. Sorry again for that."
He gets into his car and drives off like a bat out of hell. I'm standing there with my coke slurpee. I decide to go on a longer walk before I head back home.
"At least the make up sex is amazing until she leaves again."
I dated a girl years ago, and we were crazy for each other. Fought like you wouldn't believe. After a year, our relationship revolved around the 2 F's (Fighting, and well, "making up"). We loved and lusted after each other fiercely, and thought that the rest disappeared once we made up (which consisted of forgetting our problems through sweat and sleep). If things got too close for comfort, she'd leave. I knew she'd be back. She always came back. And when she did, sometimes I'd leave. I didn't want to talk either.
A lot of the little fighting at the end came from the simple fact that I was unable to write her a song. Always tried to. Just could never do it.
This was our world.
We were 18.
We loved and hated each other.
We were unable and unwilling to talk.
We didn't want to forgive.
We talked about having children one day.
We wanted things to be "perfect".
We thought we were going to be married.
We were foolish.
I'm definitely hearing music now. Maybe a new song is coming. Maybe it will be in my heart at my performance tonight.
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