Shh...

It's late.

Can't sleep again. Too many things rattling around inside tonight. It's a soft cacophony of words and images. Beautiful things. Some things that I don't like to look at as well.

And there is sound.

There's always sound here. A constant thrumming; a soft heartbeat even in the late hours. Sounds originating from the life and lights gently glittering across the water. In these quiet times its constant presence is reassuring.

My hometown could be so quiet. I would stand in my backyard late at night, and just stare at the stars. Nothing but the occasional disturbance of a car passing by, and me and my sky. She and I go way back. The sky and I have history together.
I wasn't sleeping much then either.

When I was growing up, there was a girl that mystified and intrigued me. Blonde, sharply defined features, slender figure. Graceful movements, like watching silk flow through fingers and fall softly to the floor. Always seemed effortless to me.

Never knew her that well, nor did I have the guts to say anything. I was always very shy. When she entered a room my eyes would follow the movements of that sprite-like form with wonder. Was so curious as to who she really was. Sometimes she would look over. I would quickly turn away, always pretending not to notice. Always pretending a lot of things, like that I could convince myself to have courage and conviction. I would one day be able to say hi without shaking or sweating, or stumbling on words. Those imaginings were so beautiful in my mind. It felt almost like I could make that moment real if I thought about it hard enough. But that's where my conviction and courage remained. Always in my mind. She would move on, a forest spirit made of mystery and magic, and I was an old oak tree, motionless and watching. I was always just watching the world go by.

When I was even younger, I used to believe that if I tried hard enough, I could touch the stars. I would stretch my tiny fingers up as high as I could, but could never quite get there. I thought that when I was older I would do it. If only I could have reached just a little higher..

I fell off of a fence once while trying to grab the night sky. I was deathly afraid of heights, including the small six foot fence that was to be my ladder to the universe and her secrets. Not even my fears could stop me that night. I fell hard and it hurt.

I got a little older, and I didn't look up like I used to. Hands didn't reach out as much, and instead found homes in pockets. I no longer saw fences as just another means to reach the heavens, but instead they became barriers erected to keep the bad things out. Walls that would always protect the good things inside.

The forest spirit and I reconnected in the most unlikely of ways. It could be said that we actually connected for the first time. Many years have passed.

She tells me that I always intrigued her. Silly girl.

She tells me that I can always make her smile. I like this. I wish she could have reasons to smile more often. The stories of her life often break my heart.

She posseses beautiful hopes and dreams that she is hesitant to resurrect. I believe that one day she can make them real. She tells me she doesn't know how.

Often I wish I could show her a path to her heart's desires, but I'm not the one. I think part of her wants me to be. Really wish I could have been him. I have learned that wishes can be flimsy things sometimes.

I have so much fire inside. Right now she is fragile; the rarest of inner beauties. Very delicate. A treasure worth protecting.  A good friend. A confidant. I fear my touch would burn and break those beautiful things.

I am glad that I can always make her smile. It is a  simple and noble feat.

It's late. I'm outside with hands in pockets, wondering if someday I can reach out and try to touch those stars again. It won't be tonight though.